Daughters are the backbone
03/06/24 21:30 Filed in: Personal
![April K Music daughters are the backbone blog post image](april-k-music-biden-blog-post.jpg)
Was Biden right about marrying into a family with five or more daughters?
I'm not sure why everyone is in a frenzy about Biden saying, "I say to every young man thinking of getting married, marry into a family with five or more daughters ... One of them will always love you." He's right, you know. Think about it. Daughters are literally the backbone of the U.S. long-term care system. This often-overlooked aspect of family dynamics is not just anecdotal; it's deeply rooted in societal norms and caregiving statistics. It's typically the oldest daughter who steps into the unpaid caregiving role of a parent or other adult right around the time she's mid-career and raising teenagers. This time in life for females is often called the 'sandwich generation,' it can be highly stressful. Don't get me wrong. Sons also find themselves in the caregiving role, but nowhere near the extent as daughters. According to The National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, 34.2 million Americans provided unpaid care to an adult aged 50 or older within the last 12 months, and unpaid care is valued at over $600 billion dollars.
Did you know?
1. Daughters make up the majority of unpaid caregivers, comprising approximately 60-75% of the caregiving population.
2. Daughters come from diverse age groups, ranging from young adults caring for aging parents to older adults caring for spouses or siblings, including those who have been wounded as veterans of our military.
3. Many daughters juggle caregiving responsibilities alongside other roles, such as being employed outside the home, parenting children, or managing household duties.
4. Daughters dedicate significant time to caregiving duties, often spending close to 25 hours per week providing care.
5. Daughters in the caregiving role often reported feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, and isolation.
6. Balancing caregiving responsibilities with employment can be financially challenging for daughters. Many are forced to reduce their working hours or leave the workforce altogether, resulting in lost income and reduced retirement savings.
7. Daughters in an unpaid caregiving role are at risk of experiencing adverse health outcomes themselves, including higher rates of chronic conditions, compromised immune function, and increased mortality risk.
I deeply understand the plight of daughters as unpaid caregivers because I am one of them. I cared for my aunt for five years and now have both of my parents living in a basement apartment in my home, my father suffering from severe Parkinson's disease. Medicare doesn't cover long-term care. So, if you fall anywhere between extreme wealth and poverty, chances are super high that you won't be able to afford assisted living. With this as the reality for most Americans, it's no wonder why marrying into a family of daughters would be wise.
Caregiving is sacred and hard. It's rewarding and taxing. One of the ways I manage the stress of caregiving is through songwriting. I wrote the song, Lullaby for my aunt. In this song, I tried to convey the circle of life we all go through. We're born. We become adults. We grow older. And if we live long enough, we'll need someone to care for us like when we were young. Are you caring for an aging or disabled adult in your life? How do you manage the stress? Are there songs that bring you comfort as a caregiver?